Diet & Fitness Blog

Labels: fun, relationships

This weekend, the 108th U.S. Open will take place at Torrey Pines Golf Course in San Diego. Aside from being the national championship, the final round of this prestigious event is contested on Father's Day. It's only appropriate that one of the most coveted titles in professional sports should be awarded on Father's Day.

Like a good golf pro, fathers guide us through each round of our lives. Only we can make the shots, but our fathers motivate us to play at our best. A good father teaches us to be humble in victory and gracious in defeat. When we get a bad lie, a father inspires us to make the best of it. When we hit our ball in the water, a good father inspires us to shrug it off and focus on our next shot.

Of course, my analogy will work with just about any sport. However, for me, no sport embodies the spirit of fatherhood better than the game of golf. In my relationship with my father, perhaps nothing brought us closer together than the game of golf. It provided me the opportunity to enter my father's world and allowed the two of us to really bond. The golf course always served as a sanctuary, on which to cultivate our relationship with one another.

Some of my earliest childhood memories involve going to the driving range with my father. He would hand me a 9 or a 7-iron and let me hit some of his range balls from the mat next to him. Eventually, I worked my way up to earning a few swings with his driver.

"That's the longest drive I've ever seen you hit," he seemed to remark on every subsequent trip to the range.

When my father played a round of golf on family vacations, I always rode in the cart with him. Somewhere around the middle of the round, he would let me drop a ball and play along for a few holes. Even in those days, my father made it a point to teach me the etiquette of the game.

When I was 10 years old, my father took me to see the 1980 U.S. Open Championship at Baltusrol Golf Club in Springfield, N.J. One of the best memories of my childhood was standing beside the 18th green as Jack Nicklaus rolled in his final putt at dusk on Sunday to win the tournament. Chants of "Jack is back!" erupted from the gallery. At 40, Nicklaus had become the first person ever to win four U.S. Open titles.

Years later at the Honda Classic in Coral Springs, Fla., my father and I saw Jack Nicklaus again -- walking right next to us in the gallery. He and his wife Barbara were following their own son, Gary. That tournament also allowed me to see my favorite player on the PGA TOUR, Davis Love III. Davis has been my favorite ever since I read his book, Every Shot I Take: Lessons Learned in Golf, Life and a Father's Love. The book is (you guessed it) a tribute to his dad!

My favorite round of golf with my father occurred when the two of us played on the same team in a scramble at Boca Dunes Country Club. I was the lead-off man for our team, and I remember my hands started to shake as I gripped the club and stepped up to hit my first drive. I hit it down the center of the fairway though, and my father was beaming with pride.

Shortly after this event, one of the worst fears of my childhood came true -- I was exposed to my father's mortality. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. When he started chemotherapy, one of the first questions he asked the doctors was whether he would still be able to play golf. Fortunately, the answer was yes.

It is hard for me to believe that it was seven years ago that my father and I celebrated our last Father's Day together. He was entering the final round of his courageous battle against cancer, and we both knew he had only months to live.

The two of us completed a full 18 holes of golf that morning. Despite his frail condition, my father fought rain, crowds and fatigue in order to do that with me, and he never uttered a single complaint. After the round, we returned home to hoist a few beers and watch the end of the U.S. Open on television.

In his book, Davis Love writes, "My late father, for who I am named, is still my hero. He always was; he always will be." You know something? I know exactly how Davis feels.

I've read that as long as your father is alive, you will always be a son. I'm sorry, but I think this is nonsense. Time has taught me that you don't stop being a son merely because your father dies. Even if you are a father or grandfather yourself, you will always be your father's son. And, for me, nothing embodies the spirit of fathers and sons better than the U.S. Open.

No matter what happens this weekend, one thing is certain. The 108th U.S. Open champion will be somebody's son. And whether this golfer's father is standing beside him on the 18th green or smiling down from the heavens, that son will have one proud Dad!

All of us at eDiets would like to wish all the fathers and grandfathers out there a Happy Father's Day! Even if golf isn't your "cup of tee," do you have special memories of times spent with your Dad? Send your own Father's Day greetings by posting a comment below.

Labels: holidays, relationships

According to the CDC, I'm about average height -- 5'10". Ok, I'm more like 5'9" and a half, but are we going to split hairs here?

Being tall certainly has its advantages. What do women want? Tall, dark and handsome. Not average, pale and decent looking. But it's not just women discriminating.

Must be this tall to ride. Men's Big and Tall (not short and small). Bigger is better. Help wanted: Short need not apply. (Ok, I made that last one up, but the signs of heightism are everywhere.)

A survey by University of Florida found that the salary gap between the tall and the vertically challenged is large: almost $800 per inch. And 18 of the last 22 presidential elections were won by the taller man. One report suggests that 90 percent of CEOs are above average height and that when two job candidates have similar skills and backgrounds, the taller one will win more than 70 percent of the time.

Being tall is associated with strength, power, masculinity and sexual prowess. And the opposite associated with being of a smaller stature.

It's such a sore spot that some men are willing to go through extreme pain and shell out big bucks for an operation that can give them a few extra inches.

"Height is such a big deal in the US," says Beverly Hills-based therapist Rebecca Roy, M.A. "Men are judged on it, relationships are based on it and careers are changed by it. No wonder these guys are going through such painful operations."

The procedure involves breaking the patients' legs and having telescopic pins inserted that the men can lengthen themselves over time. This excruciating surgery costs between $100,000 and $200,000, takes months to recover from, can cause infection and deformities, and the patient might even return to their original height.

So I think I'm going to stick with my average height and accept that I will never be picked first on the basketball court. But wouldn't it be nice if men weren't judged on height and women weren't judged on face and body shape? I guess that's just the society we live in…

How important is height to you in a partner? Do you discriminate against those with a lower center of gravity? Let us know your thoughts.

Labels: career, relationships, study

As long as you are trying to lose weight by eating healthy and exercising, I don't think it matters if you have a somewhat superficial motivation for wanting to whip yourself into shape. I'll be honest with you. I have been working at eDiets for more than five years now, and I have learned all about the serious health risks like diabetes and heart disease. I really do want to be healthy and live a long life. But it isn't the general goal of improving my health that has recently motivated me to start getting up at 5 a.m. and hit the gym before coming to work. Quite frankly, I have had a couple of nice dinner dates recently, and that has suddenly made me a little self-conscious about those extra pounds spilling out over the top of my boxer shorts. Besides, some of my dress pants have been getting a little snug, and I have no intention of buying a new wardrobe.

There, I said it! The general goals of wanting to improve my health and practice what I preach here at eDiets have had me rolling over and hitting the snooze button for months. The more immediate goal of wanting to blast away my unsightly belly has been getting me to the gym and onto the treadmill before the sun comes up. And you know what? That doesn't make me a bad person!

So what about you? What are your real motivations for wanting to lose weight? I mean the ones that actually compel you to order a salad when you'd rather have a thick, juicy steak and go to the gym when you'd rather roll over and put your head back on that soft, fluffy pillow.

Leave a comment below on this online confessional. Don't worry… you can remain anonymous! --Glenn Mueller, senior writer/editor

Labels: motivation, relationships

As I sat in the lunchroom with a coworker discussing the lack of bona fide action stars in today’s sad state of cinematic affairs, I waited patiently for my meal to microwave and my stomach started to rumble.

I am easily distracted. So as he continued to lament the days when Conan was still a Barbarian and Rocky wasn’t AARP eligible, I daydreamed about the sweet, fluffy, buttery piece of cornbread on his plate. It would go so well with some beans and barbeque chicken or some chili. He had it with meatloaf, which would be good, too, but not my first choice. Cornbread really goes with just about anything, now that I think about it.

He saw the way I was eyeballing his cornbread and the conversation quickly turned to the fact that when his wife wants him to do something around the house, she makes his favorite foods. Enter cornbread, stage left. This shook me from my delicious daydream and brought about a startling realization.

“I know when we’re having cornbread, I’ll be cleaning this or fixing that in the near future,” he explained.

Diabolical.

I realized I’d fallen prey to this little trick myself. As a matter of fact, I could be enticed to do just about anything if there was a promise of Mexican food, large amounts of cheese or bacon after said deed was done. I’d even stayed in a relationship with a girl who was clearly wrong for me just because of her cooking.

I mean, sure she was constantly accusing me of doing things I didn’t do and once tried to run me over with her SUV, but her cooking was sublime. I wasn’t going to miss her parents’ 4^th of July fish fry just because she tried to stab me with a fork for smiling at our waitress. We broke up shortly after the fish fry, but now I really miss her... cooking.

As a man am I really this simple? Can we be coerced so easily with food?

Once a girl invited me over for dinner and asked if I would help her move her couch. Sure, a home cooked meal for a quick sofa switch? Sounds fair.

She started cooking and I became intoxicated with the smells and anticipation of this delicious dish. An hour and a half later the food was ready and I had rearranged her entire apartment about four times. I was fed and, as I left full and exhausted, I knew she’d utilized food to get what she wanted. I felt used.

I know women use sex appeal to get what they want, and I accept that, but using food to get what you want? That just seems wrong. Good food is powerful and -- in the wrong hands -- can be dangerous. With great food, comes great responsibility.

Have you ever been duped with food? Have you used food to get what you want? Let me know how you use food to get what you want and post a comment below. Don’t worry, comments can be kept anonymous to protect the not-so-innocent.

--Shawn McKee, staff writer

Labels: food, relationships

Geoffrey Anderson Jr.
Junior Copy Editor

The first few months of a relationship tend to be some of the most exciting. You want to spend what seems to be every waking hour with your other half, learning everything there is to know about him or her. You find that the relationship's novelty makes the mundane routine of work and sleep all the more tolerable -- and your love life a little more exciting.

Around the six-month mark, however, something happens. It could have happened overnight or over a number of weeks -- you don’t know. What you do know is that the habits you once found cute and adorable about "snookums" are now infuriating and apocalyptic. Whether he's starting to leave the toilet seat up one too many times (It moves in more than one direction, you know.) or she's spending more time at the mall than with you, something's changed.

Face it: Your significant other has become comfortable with the relationship. Perhaps too comfortable.

Because there's no longer a need to impress the other person -- you've been dating for a while already --letting go of one's self isn't unusual. Unfortunately, this complacency (Dinner and a movie again?) can lead to something unsightly: weight gain. Since your relationship began, your man's six-pack has been reduced to a not-so-hot bulge or your girlfriend's tight arms have become new sites for flag waving.

Whatever the case, such weight gain can be stopped. Instead of dining out again and letting the calories take their toll, try these "action dates" to change up your lazy routine.

Volleyball: Summer's here, so it's the perfect time to hit the beach or be outside. Invite some friends for a game of beach volleyball or visit the local park to play. You'll be able to catch some rays and burn some calories while revving your metabolism. Playing an hour of volleyball can burn anywhere from 180 to 400 calories, depending on one's weight.

Biking: Not interested in volleyball or just not very good at it? Try biking to pass the time. Not only is it good training for your commute to work (Thank you, rising gas prices), but it's also something different -- the open air, the winding bike path and the ambient noise of your city. Work off anywhere from 120 to 200 calories by biking leisurely for 30 minutes.

Walking: When was the last time you went for a walk with your lover and just talked? Been a while, huh? Well, if you can't ride a bike or play volleyball, walking around your neighborhood is an easy way to get off the couch and communicate. Although it won't burn as many calories as the other activities (about 80 per half hour), it gives you a chance to talk in a different setting about what's affecting your relationship.

Do you have your own special "active" date ideas you like to share with your partner? Share them with us and leave a comment below!

Labels: diet, lifestyle, relationships

Mother's Day is a day to honor and celebrate moms. Moms are very special and they play a critical role in their children's lives. When you think about it, for most people, the first relationship they develop is the one with their mom. It's also the longest lasting relationship!

To help make your Mother's Day a good one, here are 4 simple tips for how to improve or strengthen the relationship with your mom.

1. Focus on Positive.
In any relationship there are going to be struggles and challenges. Instead of focusing on what goes wrong or your struggles, shift your attention and begin to amplify or recognize what's right (positive/good) about you and your mother. Make a list of what you love about your mom and tell her.

2. Respect and Validate Differences.
Each of you was born in a different time period, with different values and ways of living. You may not agree on everything, even the important things in life. You don't have to agree with each other -- just acknowledge and respect each other's thoughts and feelings. Some people have been angry or in a fight with their mom for years. These are wasted years. Pick up the phone and apologize or forgive her. Move on. Often times, the qualities that we dislike in our mothers, we find in ourselves as we grow older.

3. Boundaries.
Respect one another's privacy. Boundaries in what you say and tell your mother (and what she tells you) are OK. Do not look to your mother to be your best friend.

4. Time.
Often times, we don't spend enough time with our moms. What about those deep conversations that you used to have with your mother? Do you know where she would go in a crisis? Do you really know what is on her mind these days? What does she enjoy doing? Spend time strengthening your relationship and opening the lines of communication between you and your mother. Be clear about what you mean. Say what you mean.

Don't expect your mother to read your mind! When we expect others to read our minds we always get disappointed. Like any relationship, this relationship also takes work. Change cannot occur in one day or week -- but over time!

Dr. Terri Orbuch, The Love Doctor, is a psychologist, Oakland University professor, and research professor at The University of Michigan, Institute for Social Research. Dr. Orbuch's Love Doctor Relationship Segments are aired weekly on Fox TV-Detroit and radio stations across the U.S. and Canada. You can find out more about The Love Doctor® at www.drterrithelovedoctor.com.

Labels: holidays, relationships, tips

My title here at eDiets means that I’m a "creative" person, but not usually a writer. I was asked to be a guest blogger so here I am trying my hand at blogging...

The topic for my blog comes from a subject very close to my heart -- April 30 is my 2nd wedding anniversary. My husband and I are going away for our anniversary; we are scuba divers so we are heading to the Keys.

With that being said we decided to give each other presents early. I gave my husband (most useful) a watch that he’s been wanting for a while now and he gave me (smartest. gift. ever.) a housekeeper to come once a month to clean our condo. Isn’t that awesome?

And so that made me think: What the best present you've received for a special occasion (anything counts -- an anniversary, birthday, lost weight, graduation, championship, etc.). Maybe it was the silliest, funniest, craziest, sexiest, smartest or most useful kind of gift, but whatever it was... share! Trust me; you will just give people ideas for the next occasion coming up!

Labels: holidays, relationships

How many of us are actually where we thought we'd be at this point in our lives?

Personally, I'm what I like to call "off schedule." And with my birthday coming up (April 30, if you'd like to send presents -- thanks!), I can't help but think about things...

I say I'm off schedule because if you asked me 10 years ago where I'd be right now (turning 28), I would have told you I'd be married, planning kids, living somewhere in a lovely house -- that my husband and I own, of course -- with a cat or two and a dog.

I would have told you that my plan was to have kids by 30 (don't want to be an old mom), but that I wanted at least two years to enjoy married life and my husband before bringing children into the mix. And considering most people date for at least a year before getting engaged, and then there's the whole wedding-planning fiasco… I figure that in order to hit my "kids by 30" goal, I'd have to start that whole process by… oh, TWO YEARS AGO. Heh.

And, honestly, if I want to be married for two years before having kids, I'd have to get married by next Wednesday. Vegas, anyone?

Reality check: Still single; no ring in sight. No ring and no one thinking about buying me one. My mom actually made cardboard cutouts of "virtual grandchildren" last time I went over for a holiday at my parents' house. These virtual grandkids even sat at the dinner table with us. I guess it's as close as she figures she's going to get anytime soon.

But there's also a trade-off. Although I don't have a hubby or a little mini-me running around, I am doing better career-wise than I thought I would be at this point. So, that's a good thing. Not that I wouldn't mind sitting at home or shopping all day with my husband's credit card while he works to support me… But still, it'll be nice to contribute equally when (if?) I ever get back on schedule.

And all this got me wondering. How many of us are actually "on schedule?" Not just with marriage and kids, but with careers, life goals and personal accomplishments? How many people are actually what they wanted to "when I grow up?" I'd bet that although things don't normally go as planned, they usually work out for the best.

Things happen for a reason, they say, and I've come to believe that. After all, good things come to those who wait, right?

Labels: career, lifestyle, relationships

You know you want to lose weight. You know you want your kids to be a healthy weight. But what about your pets? Think a little pudge on your pet is cute? I think it's time we take a look at pet obesity as a serious problem.

How do we show our pets love? We give them treats. How do we make them do anything? Treats. Good boys get treats! And who isn't guilty of slipping Fido or Fluffy a little nibble of whatever's for dinner?

I'll be the first to admit I’m not helping the problem. My cat (and I use that term loosely; he's really the size of a medium dog) is overweight. Pimp has weighed in at a whopping 22 pounds at vet visits, and I often find myself comparing him to small dogs and saying, "My cat would eat your dog."

Luckily, I've never fed Pimp a small dog, but since he eats any and everything I give him, I have no doubt he'd probably try if I gave one to him. Good boys get small dogs!

Did you know the average weight of an adult cat is 7 to 12 pounds?! The vet told me to put him on "diet" food, which I did. But that hasn't stopped me from filling up his bowl probably too often, showering him with treats and giving him some of everything I eat. He just looks at me with those eyes…

So the realization becomes: It’s not our pets' fault that they're fat. It's not their fault that all our "love" puts them at a higher risk for weight-related conditions. They don't know that a serving of treats is only four pieces, or that they should run around the house for 30 minutes a day to keep their heart healthy.

Sure, a yummy treat or a bite of your juicy steak may make your pet happy at that minute. But are their fattened purrs and tail wags worth it in the long run? Not so much.

I know I've said it before, but I'm serious this time: Pimp's going on a diet. And I know he may yell and cry and wake me up 20 times a night because he thinks he's hungry, but in the end, Mommy knows best -- and I want him around for as long as possible.

Do you have a fat pet, or know someone who does? Have you tried to put them on a diet or do you think they're pleasantly plump? Leave a comment and share your thoughts.

Labels: diet, pets, relationships, weight

Spring is here -- and that means love is in the air! Flowers bloom, birds chirp and people wake from their winter slumbers, looking for love. Yes, romance blooms as the warm, spring air coaxes us out of our caves and into the sunny world around us.

For as long as people have been pairing up, they've had problems with communication. So to help alleviate some of the problems that arise when the sexes try to coincide in courtship, I've put together a list of things women should know about men. As a man, these are the things I wish every woman knew about me -- and my brethren -- to make life simpler for everyone.

We lie. But it's not as bad as it sounds. Generally, we do it to make you feel good or avoid trouble. Were you really looking for the truth when you asked: "Does this make my butt look big?" We think your butt looks great. Everything you try on looks "great." Let's leave it at that.

We're insecure -- just like you. This seems obvious, but since men tend not to open up about their feelings, it may be hard to actually recognize. We want to feel wanted and needed. Throw us an occasional compliment, ask us to help you do something manly or laugh at our dumb jokes. Pointing out our imperfections is painful for us, too, so take it easy when addressing our growing beer belly, receding hairline or bedroom prowess.

Your body is sexy. Fitness is sexy. You don't have to be built like a ballerina to turn us on, but the fact that you take care of yourself is important. Plus, we love seeing you in your sexy little workout clothes and we're hoping that when you get home from the gym you'll suggest we "hit the showers" together.

The eyes have it. We think you're sexy, remember? Sometimes our eyes wander, but that doesn't mean we're planning on straying. It's unnatural for a man to ignore a beautiful woman -- it's science. So, if you catch your man ogling another beauty, don't point out all her imperfections and call her a "skank." Jealousy is not pretty.

Acceptable actions for you to take: Punch him in the arm, make a smartass comment about her outfit, say "You wish," start ogling a handsome man in the area, suggest a threesome (then add "you wish") or anything else that's shows you're confident and can laugh off a faux pas as trivial as our naturally wandering eyes.

We're always ready for sex -- always. That's pretty much it on that one. So, feel free to initiate whenever you're feeling randy.

Subtly is lost on us. This is one that always seems to baffle women I know. "I flipped my hair, smiled and touched my neck, how could he not know I'm interested?" Because he doesn't get subtle clues, as a matter of fact, subtly is all but lost on the male species.

I'm not sure why this is, but if you want something, you may just have to ask directly. Is it as fun as dropping hints about what you want for your anniversary and being surprised when you don't get it? Maybe not, but it will eliminate a great deal of miscommunication.

Cookies, cakes and the kitchen. When you cook for us, it's the sexiest thing ever. We love food and we love women, so a woman who can feed us pretty much covers all the bases. Watching you cook is better foreplay than pretty much anything, unless you're cooking wearing only an apron, then it is the best foreplay -- ever.

You don't really want to know what we're thinking. Men's minds, like their eyes, tend to wander. You ask, "What are you thinking?" And you get a blank stare. It's not because we're not thinking anything, but because we know you don't care about the finer points of a 3-4 defense, who would win in a fight between a ninja and a pirate (ninja, in case you're wondering), or how many hot dogs we think we could eat in 20 minutes. So, when we reply, "How beautiful you are…" Just accept it.

Directions? We don't need no stinkin' directions! We don't ask for directions because we like to solve problems, it makes us feel accomplished. Half the fun of going somewhere is the trip, so getting lost and finding our way back is a big part of the fun of going to your coworker's birthday party. We're explorers by nature; let us have our great expedition -- even if it makes us late. You can blame us for being late -- we don't mind.

Stop asking, "Where is this going?" We don't know. We know where we hope this will go, but we're not going to stop and ask for directions. You have a right to ask this at some point as the relationship develops, but we're trying to enjoy the trip, not rush to the destination. Asking will just make us feel pressured, so just skip this question all together and enjoy the ride.

We really just want to make you happy, that's all. More often than not, we'll do the right thing, but take it easy on us when we act like the cavemen we are, at least we're trying.

Shawn McKee is not a doctor, psychologist or relationship expert of any kind. He is, however, a man. Which he thinks gives him the authority to write about things men like.

How else can we open the dialog between the sexes? What should men know about women? Was this article helpful? Was it a waste of time? Let us know!

Labels: relationships, tips

Labels: food, fun, holidays, relationships

Losing weight is difficult. It takes healthy eating, exercise, commitment and support. Couples support each other through all sorts of lifestyle changes, such as marriage, a career switch and childbirth, but what about dieting? When two people agree to share everything, shouldn't a commitment to healthier living be at the forefront?

According to a new report from Yale University, "When both members are equally motivated to shed pounds, they can support each other and achieve greater weight loss than when they go it alone."

Why should the two of you diet together? Find out how working together as a couple can create even greater results than doing it alone...

"Let's get rid of the word diet -- and talk lifestyle," says nutritionist Susan Burke. "Couples should undertake lifestyle changes together. When both resolve to change their lifestyle and their attitude about eating, then it can be a very positive experience -- one that will lead to permanent weight loss."

However, Burke warns that if you're committed to losing weight and living healthy -- and your partner isn't -- it can create conflict in the home. If your partner isn't willing to get on board your boat to better health, don't give up -- try leading by example.

"I'm a firm believer that the best way to influence those around you is to simply be a good example," says psychologist Dr. John Sklare. "If you are more dedicated than your partner, be as supportive and helpful as you can be while being the model of the behavior you are trying to inspire."

While you can do it alone, both experts agree that teaming up is the best way to change both your lives. Change isn't easy, and having someone who's going through the same transformation and working toward the same goals will bring a sense of solidarity to the process, Burke says.

"I'm a great advocate of couples doing a lot of things together -- and losing weight together is high on the list," Sklare said. "Two people working toward the same goal not only makes achieving that goal more likely, but it significantly reduces the emotional intensity of the endeavor."

Burke reemphasizes the fact that this is more than just "dieting together" and that you both must strive for a lifestyle change that lasts. Most people think "diet" means a temporary restriction of calories to lose weight, Burke says.

"They 'go on' a diet and eat diet food. When they 'go off' the diet they return to their usual way of eating, and usually wind up regaining more than they originally lost. Unless they change their lifestyle and their attitude about eating, they'll be stuck in this weight fluctuation cycle of losing and gaining," she explains.

Change is inevitable, but it's nice to have someone there during those uncertain, trying times when you're struggling for a serious life change. Imagine if you were the only one working toward getting married or your husband suggested: "It's fine if you want kids, but don't expect any help from me." Absurd, right?

Changing lifelong habits of poor eating and overindulgence are changes that will dramatically affect the way you live, as well as how long you live, but it's a difficult transition. Just like any major change, you'll need support.

"One of the most common complaints that I hear from women dieting on their own is the difficult time they have preparing two different meals," Sklare says. "Not to mention that when your partner is on the same eating program that you are, they are less likely to bring foods into the house that tests your will."

"Just as your partner can be a supportive presence in your efforts, they can also help undue your resolve," warns Susan. If the commitment becomes one-sided and you feel your partner giving up, Susan recommends not giving up on your spouse.

"If your partner isn't as committed to lifestyle change as you are, then they may sabotage your efforts. They may give up and want you to give up as well. If that happens, explore why your partner wants to give up, acknowledge their struggle with the change and show your support for their efforts, emphasize your commitment to your new healthy lifestyle and ask for their support as well," Burke says.

"Most people find comfort and encouragement in interacting with others of like minds that have an intimate understanding of their struggle and share a similar perspective," Dr. Sklare explains.

Dieting together can be a great way to bring you closer to your partner while achieving a healthier body, but if you don't keep the lines of communication open and support each other, it can also break apart a shaky relationship. Working together as a couple can create even greater results than going it alone, if you're both ready.

And when you decide you're ready, eDiets FREE diet profile is a great place to start. Good luck!

Labels: diet, motivation, relationships, tips, weight-loss

Need a therapist? Click here to find one in your area.

We should not hunt our mates, but rather lure them. After all, a mate is prey to be captured alive.

Anthropologist David Givens has provided a practical guide to the body language of seduction in his book,Love Signals. The key for both men and women, he says, is to appear harmless and vulnerable. Be the deer by the watering hole, waiting for the wolf to pounce.

Whatever you do, you don't want to appear guarded. Crossing your arms over your chest and lowering your head are signs of defensiveness that will keep potential mates at a distance. Shirts buttoned all the way to the top and, even worse, turtlenecks keep away the cold, but they also keep away lovers.

The way you dress should be appetizing. Black may be chic, but wearing vibrant, natural colors -- cherry red, forest green, lemon yellow -- will make you seem ripe for the picking.

Once you've attracted a mate, what you say isn't so important. Ninety-nine percent of courting is nonverbal.

Research on opening lines has shown that with the proper body language, "Hello" works most of the time for men and all of the time for women. What's more important is to communicate openness and interest with your whole body. Here are a few ideas:

Build Familiarity:
How to do it: Walk within arm's reach of your target on your way to the bathroom, the kitchen or the bar. Repeat several times.

Why it works: Studies prove that we like things simply because we've seen them before.

Open Up:
How to do it: Use open-palmed gestures as you talk.

Why it works: Because palms-open exposes the tender part of your hand. Palms-up gestures are a universal sign of friendliness and availability. Palms-down gestures say stay away.

Display Your Interest:
How to do it: Lift one shoulder and cock your head to the side.

Why it works: Anthropologists call this the "cute response." For both sexes it says, "I'm interested." It also says, "I'm adorable."

Be Vulnerable:
How to do it: Wear an open shirt, and touch your neck and collarbone.

Why it works: A neck-touch is as appealing to men as it is to women. You are literally pointing out a weak spot.

Follow Your Partner:
How to do it: If he scratches his head, you scratch your head. If he does the funky chicken, you do the funky chicken.

Why it works: Isopraxism, the technical term for moving in unison, is based on a deep-seated instinct to copy the actions of those we find attractive.

Draw Attention to Yourself:
How to do it: When you are near your prey, drop something -- a napkin, a glove or a watch. Bend down and pick it up.

Why it works: We notice moving objects, even when we can see them only out of the corners of our eyes. Also, you are more vulnerable when you bend over.

Our closest animal relative, the Bonobo chimpanzee, practices the object-dropping technique in courtship. After a male Bonobo notices a female, he will pass by her and climb up the closest tree. From a comfortable height, he will drop twigs around her body, almost hitting her. After a while, the female may become sufficiently charmed to climb up the tree and present her hindquarters to her new mate.

Jennifer Drapkin is an intern at Psychology Today.

Looking to lose weight, but don't know where to start? Take the FREE diet profile and see which diet would work best for you!

Labels: fun, relationships, study, tips

Everywhere you look is some savvy advertiser suggesting what to get your sweetheart, but it can be tough to sift through the slick ads to find what to really get your baby this February 14th.

As your man scrambles to come up with the perfect gift to make you smile on Valentine's Day, you wait in eager anticipation of a day that -- let's be completely honest here -- is strictly for the ladies. But you know he's going all out, so what can you get him? How about rewarding his preparations by taking care of the reservations on V-day?

If waiting an hour to get seated in a crowded, noisy restaurant only to be overcharged for mediocre tasting, fat-laden food doesn't sound like the way you want to spend your Valentine's Day, then try this excellent, easy recipe that will stimulate the senses and stir your appetite… for love.

Not only will he appreciate the money saved, but the food will be healthy and delicious, as well as served by his favorite beauty in an intimate setting only steps away from your final destination -- the bedroom. Or, invite him into the kitchen and get cooking together (wink, wink).

Check out this fabulous recipe for Artichoke Hearts Salad, Beef Tenderloin with Dried Cherry-Wine Sauce and Sparkling Wine Poached Pear and impress your partner with your amazing culinary skill. The fastest way to a man's heart is still through his stomach, so check out this video featuring eDiets' very own Director of Nutrition Services, Pam Ofstein, to heat things up this Valentine's Day.

Even if you're going solo for this day of love, you can whip up this simple recipe and treat yourself to something special. You deserve it!

Artichoke Hearts Salad

Ingredients:
1 1/3 cup artichoke hearts
2 oz. roasted red peppers
2 Tbsp. salad dressing, low-fat or nonfat

Directions:
Dice red peppers and toss with artichokes and dressing. Serve.

Beef Tenderloin with Dried Cherry-Wine Pan Sauce

Ingredients:
4 oz. red wine
4 tbsp. dried cherries
1 Tbsp. jam
1/2 tsp. Dijon mustard
1 tsp. canola oil
6 oz. beef, loin cut
1/2 tsp. cornstarch
3 Tbsp. water
1 1/2 tsp. unsalted butter

Directions:
Combine wine, dried cherries, jam and Dijon mustard in small bowl; set aside. Heat oil in a nonstick skillet over low heat for 2 minutes. Cut the tenderloin into slices; sprinkle with pepper if desired.

Increase heat to medium and place tenderloin in pan; cook about 3-4 minutes each side or until starting to brown. Remove tenderloin from pan; set aside keeping warm. Stir in wine mixture to same pan, scraping the pan to loosen browned bits. Increase to high heat; bring sauce to a boil and cook until reduced about half. Dissolve cornstarch in water.

Turn heat down to medium and whisk cornstarch into sauce until smooth; cook an additional minute. Remove from heat and stir in butter with whisk. Pour sauce over tenderloin to serve.

Note: We recommend a port wine or other sweet red wine. Raspberry or cherry jam will work well for this recipe, but you can also use strawberry.

Sparkling Wine Poached Pear

Ingredients:
2 small pears
5 Tbsp. sparkling wine
1/2 cup orange juice
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. ground cloves

Directions:
Peel and core pears. Cut a thin slice from the bottom of each pear to form a base for the pear to stand on. Place the pears upright in a heavy saucepan or Dutch oven. Pour the sparkling wine and juice over the pears. Sprinkle on cinnamon and cloves to taste (recommend starting with 1/8 tsp. of cinnamon and a dash of cloves). Bring mixture to a boil; reduce heat and simmer for 10-15 minutes or until pears are tender. Serve warm.

Nutrition facts: Calories 446, calories from fat 95, carbs 55g, fat 10.93g (3.5 saturated), fiber 10g, protein 23g, sugar 24g, cholesterol 60mg, sodium 181mg.

Now get cooking! Happy Valentine's Day!

Labels: cooking, food, fun, holidays, relationships, video

When it comes to the mysterious heart-shaped holiday known as Valentine's Day, there are two kinds of people in this world: those that love it (read: women in relationships) and those that hate it (read: everyone else). I associate with the latter.

It's not because I'm single this V-Day and will spend it alone in my basement listening to Michael Bolton ballads -- crying quietly to myself -- and watching a Julia Roberts marathon with my cat while eating enough chocolate to choke Count Chocula (like last year).

No, being single on this unhappiest of holidays is actually a blessing in disguise for those of us forced by corporate America to shell out big bucks to prove to our "special lady" just how extra-special she is.

Why? Well, let me explain what this chocolate-covered holiday means to a man in a relationship -- from real-life, prior experience. Prepare to be wooed.

First of all, financially I'm still reeling from the holiday spend-a-thon that is Christma-Hannu-Kwanza, and to be honest, all of my ideas for thoughtful, breathtaking gifts have already been used. I'm a little depressed because football season has just ended and I don't even realize it's cheesy card day until it's too late. (When I see the receptionist at work get flowers from her new boyfriend, I realize what day it is -- and panic ensues...)

I leave work early to get you a card with some sappy sentiment, like a picture of a kitten pawing a paper heart that reads: "You're my Puuurrrr-fect Valentine!" (shudder)

Then I grab some chocolate in hopes that you'll be too busy eating chocolate-covered cherries to yell at me because I'm taking you to Bennigan's instead of having reservations at that French place you love -- that I can't pronounce.

The roses I bring are the bottom of the barrel. Literally. They were the last bunch. I come to pick you up and have already spent over $100 on wilted flowers, overpriced chocolate, a teddy bear that says, "I wuv you," plus, the obligatory Hallmark "I (heart) you" card.

You pretend to be surprised by exceptionally generic gifts -- and I feel your disappointment. Unless, of course, we're still in high school, then red roses, candy and teddy bears are great gifts! You can also wear my letterman jacket if it gets cold!

Bennigan's, here we come...

It's a two-hour wait when we get there; we sit uncomfortably and look at the floor. According to most industry insiders, this is one of the two busiest days of the year for restaurants. So we wait. Three hours and a maxed-out Visa later, we arrive back home.

You had one too many glasses of wine at dinner and now, well, you've passed out face down on the bed. I try to wake you for a little holiday lovin', but it's too late for that. I take your shoes off and think to myself, "I can still catch the late edition of SportsCenter -- score!"

Thank St. Valentine this day's over.

That's what it's like for both parties involved -- second-rate seduction that leaves everyone disappointed. Ask any man and he'll tell you, Valentine's Day is a scam.

For example, please explain Cupid to me. Who thinks giving an infant a bow and arrow is a good idea? Archery is fun, yes, but I would think it should be reserved for the potty-trained. And how exactly is it representative of romance? I can't think of anything more impractical than a baby in a dirty diaper with a primitive weapon. What kind of example does this give the youth of America? It's a wonder no one's been hurt yet.

But love can be dangerous, so maybe that's the connection. More dangerous than a baby with a bow? I don't know, but I'd rather leave that question to be pondered hypothetically by future scholars.

I'm not slamming love -- it's great when it's good. I am, however, against the way it's been bastardized by corporate America to make men crazy and women jealous and depressed, like there's this standard of love that can be measured in material gifts given.

Don't tell me how to love. It comes in many forms and shows up in the most unpredictable places. Expecting to focus your love into one "perfect day" is absurd and asinine. Try showering your partner in love, affection and attention the rest of the year, and ignore this corporate concoction created to sell heart-shaped chocolate, flowers and corny cards.

This year, I'll be celebrating my singleness, but that doesn't mean that I'll be spending a loveless holiday in my basement with Bolton and a box of chocolates. No, the love I'll be celebrating will be the love I have for a well-aged scotch, a rare steak and a few good friends.

And if you see a chubby cherub running around with archery equipment, watch your wallet. Cupid stole my cash, don't let it happen to you.

Shawn McKee graduated from the University of Oklahoma with a BA in Journalism and has written for The Broward and Miami New Times. He loves cheese fries, cheap beer and classy women -- he is very romantic.

Labels: fun, holidays, relationships