Tuesday, June 10, 2008 - 1 Comments
By Geoffrey Anderson
Copy Editor
I was shopping with my girlfriend of four months when it happened. Looking for footwear at Macy's, we spent about an hour in the store as she tried on a seemingly endless supply of shoes. The salesman, a 20-something white male straight out of an Abercrombie catalog, obliged her every whim. Once my girlfriend bought her selection, we headed for the exit. And then she said what no man wants to hear:
"Why can't you look like him?"
My girlfriend posed this question as she turned to face me. I can't recall whether my jaw dropped at the moment, but I'm pretty sure it did. Needless to say, she is now my ex.
This occurred a little more than two years ago, but it's a statement that I haven't forgotten because of its inappropriateness. I was reminded of it by a survey just released from Meredith/NBC Universal. The study, entitled "What Do Women Want?" reveals that 40 percent of women believe it's wrong for a man to tell a woman she is overweight. On the other hand, only 32 percent believe it's wrong for a woman to tell a man he's overweight.
Granted, I'm no model. You won't find me shirtless on the covers of fitness magazines nationwide anytime soon. (Give me a few more months.) But, I don't consider my ex's statements very appropriate, especially in such a public setting. Perhaps she could have been -- what's the word? -- nicer about my slight beer belly.
However, concern about your significant other's weight is perfectly normal. Obviously, you care about the other person's health, and it's undeniable that sexual attraction is linked to looks -- at least partially.
But when do you bring up the topic of weight to a loved one?
Personally, I like to avoid conflict. I'm in full denial mode when females ask, "Does this make me look fat?" even though the mirror might tell a slightly different story. I do step in, however, when it's blatantly apparent that someone's weight isn't healthy. Even then, I make sure to be tactful and not bring it up at a place like, um, Macy's.
What do you think about the survey results? Is it ever appropriate to bring up the issue of weight, regardless of gender? Share your thoughts below by leaving a comment!
Copy Editor
I was shopping with my girlfriend of four months when it happened. Looking for footwear at Macy's, we spent about an hour in the store as she tried on a seemingly endless supply of shoes. The salesman, a 20-something white male straight out of an Abercrombie catalog, obliged her every whim. Once my girlfriend bought her selection, we headed for the exit. And then she said what no man wants to hear:
"Why can't you look like him?"
My girlfriend posed this question as she turned to face me. I can't recall whether my jaw dropped at the moment, but I'm pretty sure it did. Needless to say, she is now my ex.
This occurred a little more than two years ago, but it's a statement that I haven't forgotten because of its inappropriateness. I was reminded of it by a survey just released from Meredith/NBC Universal. The study, entitled "What Do Women Want?" reveals that 40 percent of women believe it's wrong for a man to tell a woman she is overweight. On the other hand, only 32 percent believe it's wrong for a woman to tell a man he's overweight.
Granted, I'm no model. You won't find me shirtless on the covers of fitness magazines nationwide anytime soon. (Give me a few more months.) But, I don't consider my ex's statements very appropriate, especially in such a public setting. Perhaps she could have been -- what's the word? -- nicer about my slight beer belly.
However, concern about your significant other's weight is perfectly normal. Obviously, you care about the other person's health, and it's undeniable that sexual attraction is linked to looks -- at least partially.
But when do you bring up the topic of weight to a loved one?
Personally, I like to avoid conflict. I'm in full denial mode when females ask, "Does this make me look fat?" even though the mirror might tell a slightly different story. I do step in, however, when it's blatantly apparent that someone's weight isn't healthy. Even then, I make sure to be tactful and not bring it up at a place like, um, Macy's.
What do you think about the survey results? Is it ever appropriate to bring up the issue of weight, regardless of gender? Share your thoughts below by leaving a comment!
Labels: men, relationships, weigh-loss
Comment: October 23, 2008 11:10 AM - 
said...
I completely agree that the comment she made was just not acceptable. The question I have is this...How did or does he know that she was referring to his weight? That was not my first thought or impression reading his description of the circumstances. She could have been referring to his hair style, clothing style, maybe even the salesman's attitude. Happy, straight standing people "look" different than those who slouch or frown. Why be so defensive about weight? Perhaps the author is too hard on himself. Anyway, I am glad he ended that relationship. I hope he told her she needs lessons in manners and maturity.
View more: Men's Health
Men's Health - Health eLiving powered by eDiets
RSS/XML
