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Wednesday, April 23, 2008
10 Best Booty Songs -- Ever!
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Shawn McKee
Staff Writer
Whether you call it a caboose, can, bum, bottom, butt, booty,
buns, bum cakes, buttocks, rump, fanny, arse, ass, humps, lumps, tail or badonkadonk -- that bodacious body part that turns heads and rules the dance floor is the inspiration for a trunk-load of songs rejoicing in the rear-end. It’s time for the 10 best (and a few of the absolute worst) songs celebrating the beauty of the booty.
10. Pitbull’s “Culo,” is an infectious Miami melody that celebrates all those bouncin’ booties way down south. It mixes a Spanish chorus with English verse to unify cultures in their appreciation of curvaceous culos. Me gusta.
9. “Shake Ya Ass,” by Mystikal is a dance-inducing jam in which Mystikal uses his raspy voice and quick delivery to get you to, well, shake your ass.
8. K.C. and the Sunshine Band released "(Shake, Shake, Shake) Shake Your Booty," and that’s exactly what people did. While it probably wasn’t terribly difficult to pen this poetry (the word “shake” accounts for about half of the total lyrics), it did pave the way for a genre of music about shakin’ rump.
7. Wreckx-N-Effect really only had one hit, "Rump Shaker," but in the summer of 1992, you couldn’t turn on the radio without hearing “zoom-a-zoom-zoom and a boom-boom.” Also, this is where super producer Pharrell Williams (Neptunes, N.E.R.D.) got his start making people shake their rumps (he also produced “Shake Ya Ass” and a slew of other hits). The birth of a booty balladeer.
6. The 69 Boys’ hit, "Daisy Dukes," paid homage to the tiny jean shorts popularized by none other than Daisy Duke. If you didn’t already know to “look at them girls with the daisy dukes on,” you did after hearing the song. A heartfelt song where a man confesses his truest feelings: “I love the girls with the big ol' booties.”
5. “Big Bottom,” is the funniest song on this list. Spinal Tap, known for their loud speakers and wild live show, crafted this masterful piece of bum-bliss. With lines like, “My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo” skillfully rhymed with “pink torpedo,” it’s hard not to acknowledge the genius of this group. Unlike the previous songs on this list, which simply relay the artists’ affinity for the derrière, this is a love song: “I love her each weekday, each velvety cheekday.” Beautiful.
4. "Big Ole Butt" is a cautionary tale of what can happen when one is consumed with the big butts of others. Ladies Love Cool James and LL Cool J loves big ole butts. "Big Ole Butt" laid the groundwork for the future of booty jams. But be wary the power of the posterior, as Mr. Cool J puts it, “I know I told you I'd be true, but Tina got a big ole butt -- so I'm leavin' you.” Powerful stuff.
3. The song “Bootylicious” will forever live on in the annals of music, but when Destiny’s Child released this song they didn’t think it would enter into America’s vernacular (check out dictionary.com). Beyonce came up with this word to celebrate the curvy, voluptuous figure of many women. It’s empowering, and when she exclaims “I don't think you're ready for this jelly… 'cause my body's too bootylicious for ya, babe,” you have to wonder, are you ready for that jelly?
2. The numbers don’t lie: Most songs about butts are by rappers. “Fat Bottomed Girls,” on the other hand, is by the classic rock group Queen, which was fronted by one of the most flamboyant lead singers of all time. That being said, it’s a fist-pumpin’, head noddin’, ass-lovin anthem. Freddy Mercury belts this one out over wicked guitar riffs and booming drums that will have you singing, “Fat-bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round,” for days after stumbling across this rump requiem.
1. “I like big butts and I cannot lie” -- this is how “Baby Got Back,” by Sir Mix-A-Lot, the quintessential booty ballad begins. This song not only extols the virtues of round rumps, but also expresses Mix-A-Lot’s disdain for “beanpole dames in the magazines.” This one is all about celebrating the booty -- and Mix likes them large -- erecting giant butts to use in his video, it was “booteerific.” So heed the advice of Mr. Mix and “turn around, stick it out -- even white boys got to shout, baby got back!” Truer words were never spoken.
The Bottom of the Barrell
If you’re going to write a jam about jelly, don’t make an ass of yourself (like these buttheads).
If you ever saw MC Hammer’s "Pumps and a Bump" video, I’m sorry. No one wanted to see Hammer in a Speedo, and this was never more evident than when MTV removed the video from its regular rotation. The song itself? It was “wiggity, wiggity wack.”
“You make my pee-pee go doing, doing, doing.” Are these the ramblings of a 7-year-old who just found his penis and his dad's Playboy collection? No, sadly, it’s “Ass Like That,” by Eminem. He tries really hard to be funny, but just ends up being completely idiotic.
K-Fed’s “PopoZao” is simply the worst song ever made. Apparently, it’s a tribute to the big booties in Brazil. So in the interest of international diplomacy, America apologizes for Kevin Federline’s stupid song. Sorry, Brazil.
Did we miss your favorite booty tune? Let us know down below!
Shawn McKee graduated from the University of Oklahoma with a BA in Journalism and has written for The Broward and Miami New Times. He loves booty.
Click Here To Post A Comment
You need some old school. 2 Live Crew or Poison Clan in there!
juvenile- back that ass up
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