Diet & Fitness

By Garry Messick
eDiets Contributor

Facts are facts, and the fact is, most kids, for whatever reason -- bad influences, genes, just plain mule-headedness -- won't eat vegetables.

Of course, there are always exceptions. Our neighbors a few doors down, for instance, have a 4-year-old named Josh whom they characterize as "a wonderful eater." Apparently the little boy will happily devour literally anything you stick under his nose, possibly including worms and small frogs, if the neighborhood kids are to be believed.

But Josh is one in a thousand. Most tykes are much more finicky, and the majority will gag and make exaggerated retching sounds if they spy the slightest hint of anything green on their plates. My 6-year-old daughter Grace is one of them.

And the thing is, kids have to have their vegetables, right? Do magazines, daily newspapers and cable TV news stations ever let up on reminding us how children (and adults, too, for that matter) nowadays eat way too much high-fat and high-sugar fast food, and how important it is to have enough servings of veggies a day?

By God, one way or another, my daughter's going to be chowing down on broccoli and spinach before long, or my wife and I are lousy freakin' excuses for parents, no doubt about it.

So I came up with a few ideas. I then emailed them to our pediatrician, whom I'll call Dr. Humorless (for reasons that will become apparent) to get his professional reaction to them. Ideas and reactions follow.

1. Sneak attack. Using a blender, puree a few cups of veggies into a gloppy mess. Pour the gloppy mess into a turkey baster. Hide the baster behind your back and approach your child. Tell the kid you just heard SpongeBob SquarePants died. While he's wailing, whip out the turkey baster and insert the end into his wide-open mouth. Quickly squeeze the bulb, thereby injecting the nutritious goo right down your child's gullet.

If you're quick enough, he will have consumed his daily veggie requirement before he knows what hit him. This is a tricky maneuver, so I'd advise practicing on the cat first (not really). Of course, cats don't care about SpongeBob, but a good stomp on the tail should have the same maw-dilating effect. Just be sure to keep the tail pinned down, or Sylvester will tear out of there.

Dr. Humorless responds: It is definitely not a good idea to force-feed a child. I hope you wouldn't actually try this. I also do not approve of cruelty to animals.

Well, excu-u-u-se me.

2. Simple trickery. Give your child a veggie burger rather than the real thing, but for God's sake, don't ever tell her what it is. The first time I pulled this on my daughter, I wasn't sure if she'd be able to tell the difference. She couldn't, and ate it without complaint. Unfortunately, while healthy enough, veggie burgers are mostly soy-derived, and don't contain greens, so this is sort of an empty victory.

Dr. H. responds: I see nothing wrong with this. Not a bad idea if it works.

3. Simple trickery, part 2. Get some food dye. Mix up some red, yellow and black to make tan or pinkish brown. Using a carving knife, carefully whittle down a cucumber or zuchini until it's about the size and shape of the average hot dog. Soak the veggie in the food dye overnight. By the next day, you should have a fairly convincing looking faux wiener. Nuke it so it's softer and less crisp, pop it into a bun, add ketchup and mustard, and voila! You've conned your little rugrat into eating healthy.

Dr. H. responds: Might work, but seems like a lot of work to go through.

4. Bribery. Aside from politicians and health inspectors, no one is easier to bribe than kids. The ideal situation is if your child is hooked into collecting some inexpensive series of toys (my daughter is into these "Littlest Pet Shop" thingies), then you have a shot at occasionally promising a toy in exchange for the kid eating a handful of string beans.

Dr. H. responds: If it's not a strain on your wallet, so be it.

5. Peer pressure. Simply getting your child into a school environment or something similar where he's with other kids at lunch and sees them eating stuff he wouldn't usually touch will psychologically reinforce the idea that those foods may not be so bad after all.

Accordingly, let him buy rather than bring lunch -- then he might take a chance on something unfamiliar as long as some other kid is eating it.

Dr. H. responds: At last, some sensible advice.

Can't get your kids (or yourself!) to each veggies? You're not alone! As an eDiets member, you can chat with other members going through the same things you are in our Support Boards. Find out more about our interactive Community!

Continue to these related posts:
-- Barbie: Little Girl's Dream or Parent's Nightmare?
-- Fruit Juice: Think Outside the Box
-- The Science Behind Picky Eating

Labels: children's health, family, health, health-eLiving, healthy, healthy snacks, heart health, juice, kids