Diet & Fitness

As I sat in the lunchroom with a coworker discussing the lack of bona fide action stars in today’s sad state of cinematic affairs, I waited patiently for my meal to microwave and my stomach started to rumble.

I am easily distracted. So as he continued to lament the days when Conan was still a Barbarian and Rocky wasn’t AARP eligible, I daydreamed about the sweet, fluffy, buttery piece of cornbread on his plate. It would go so well with some beans and barbeque chicken or some chili. He had it with meatloaf, which would be good, too, but not my first choice. Cornbread really goes with just about anything, now that I think about it.

He saw the way I was eyeballing his cornbread and the conversation quickly turned to the fact that when his wife wants him to do something around the house, she makes his favorite foods. Enter cornbread, stage left. This shook me from my delicious daydream and brought about a startling realization.

“I know when we’re having cornbread, I’ll be cleaning this or fixing that in the near future,” he explained.

Diabolical.

I realized I’d fallen prey to this little trick myself. As a matter of fact, I could be enticed to do just about anything if there was a promise of Mexican food, large amounts of cheese or bacon after said deed was done. I’d even stayed in a relationship with a girl who was clearly wrong for me just because of her cooking.

I mean, sure she was constantly accusing me of doing things I didn’t do and once tried to run me over with her SUV, but her cooking was sublime. I wasn’t going to miss her parents’ 4^th of July fish fry just because she tried to stab me with a fork for smiling at our waitress. We broke up shortly after the fish fry, but now I really miss her... cooking.

As a man am I really this simple? Can we be coerced so easily with food?

Once a girl invited me over for dinner and asked if I would help her move her couch. Sure, a home cooked meal for a quick sofa switch? Sounds fair.

She started cooking and I became intoxicated with the smells and anticipation of this delicious dish. An hour and a half later the food was ready and I had rearranged her entire apartment about four times. I was fed and, as I left full and exhausted, I knew she’d utilized food to get what she wanted. I felt used.

I know women use sex appeal to get what they want, and I accept that, but using food to get what you want? That just seems wrong. Good food is powerful and -- in the wrong hands -- can be dangerous. With great food, comes great responsibility.

Have you ever been duped with food? Have you used food to get what you want? Let me know how you use food to get what you want and post a comment below. Don’t worry, comments can be kept anonymous to protect the not-so-innocent.

--Shawn McKee, staff writer

Labels: food, relationships