Biggest Celebrity Shills
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Shill: n. a decoy who acts as an enthusiastic customer in order to stimulate the participation of others. Also, any number of annoying celebrities without a shred of human dignity. Have you ever noticed that some celebrities will endorse just about anything? I mean, Krusty the Clown from The Simpsons has been doing it for years, but at least he’s only a cartoon character. When Krusty promotes cereal with “free flesh-eating bacteria in every box” or his very own “balloon-animal home angioplasty kit,” it makes me laugh. When Tiger Woods pretends to drive a Buick and use Gillette razors, it just makes me want to vomit.
Anyway, without further ado, here's a list of some of the most irritating celebrity shills out there right now. Oh, and as Krusty is fond of saying, “I heartily endorse this event or product.”
Tiger Woods: As the number one golfer in the world, it makes sense that practically everyone would want this young phenom to endorse their products. But at least his contracts with Nike and Titleist make some sort of sense. Personally, I think Buick should put the brakes on the whole Tiger campaign. Do you mean to tell me that Woods, who is arguably the most successful and internationally-recognized sports figure in the known world, would actually drive a Buick if they weren't paying him boat loads of money to do so? Here’s a better idea for those marketing wizards at Buick: Why don’t you invest your money in making better cars instead of paying celebrities to drive them?
And when exactly does Tiger need to use that OnStar navigation system of his? The guy travels with an entourage and can afford to take a limo from the clubhouse out to the first tee. I guess maybe he uses it to navigate from those posh hotels and ritzy country clubs to cheap convenience stores where they sell Gillette Fusion razor blades.
Michael Jordan: And while we're on the topic of sports legends, I have trouble believing that Tiger's buddy Michael Jordan really wears Hanes underwear. No silk boxer shorts for MJ. I guess those Hanes briefs provide all the comfort and support he needs underneath those pinstripe suits. And does he really like Hanes underwear so much that he sends some to Cuba Gooding Jr. to wear? Never in my life have I given another guy a pair of underwear!
Peter Frampton: Does it bother anyone else that one of the most innovative rock guitarists of all time in now pitching Geico car insurance? I mean, I know his old band was called Humble Pie, but I think someone fed Peter too big of a slice.
Donald Trump: As if we didn’t get to see enough of this guy on television with his stupid reality show that just won’t die, Trump also appears in television commercials. I’m so sure that Visa Check Card comes in handy for The Donald at the Super Kmart. I would like to be in charge of that ad campaign for one day, just so I could call that pompous jerk into my office, look him straight in the eye and say, “You’re fired!” The only thing more over-inflated than Trump’s bank account is his sense of self. With the possible exception of a fallen angel formerly known as Lucifer, I can’t think of anybody out there with a bigger ego. Get over yourself, Donald. Oh, and while you’re at it, get a real haircut!
Paris Hilton: What is more obscene: The fact that the Paris ad for Carl's Jr. and Hardee's borders on soft porn, or the fact that the filthy-rich heiress is promoting a chain of fast-food restaurants where she’s never once eaten. Hey Paris, I’ll bet those Hardee’s burgers taste just great with a bottle of Dom Perignon and some Beluga Caviar. Get real!
Britney Spears: She's already pitched Curious perfume, milk, roller skates, BBQ sauce, Pepsi and Proactiv. The only thing this popular singer hasn’t endorsed is sobriety or responsible parenthood. -- Glenn Mueller, senior writer/editor
Who do you think are the biggest celebrity shills? Cast your vote by leaving a comment below.
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Labels: celebrity
Comment: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 10:43:00 AM - 
said...
Good call, there is something to be said about not selling your soul for a buck. Sad fact of this modern world came from this statement- "it doesn't matter, at least he/she is getting paid"... Note to all, what you wear, drive, where you live, or who you're holding hands with has nothing to do with you being a cooler or better person than someone who doesn't because when its all said and done they ain't puttin you in your little wooden box with any of that stuff, its being sold, split and spent by your so called love ones and the people that really didn't like you. Stand for something instead of falling for nothing.
Comment: Tuesday, May 13, 2008 12:56:00 PM - said...
Tori Spelling for Nutrisystems. I highly doubt that she lost her baby weight from eating dehydrated packaged meals.
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 6:23:00 AM - said...
I agree with putting the money in a quality product. It would also be beneficial to keep the maufacturing of these products in the US. Celebrity endorsement keeps me away from a product and in search of the "Made in the USA" label. Unfortunately we need to upgrade several industries of USA products to remain competitive.
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 8:53:00 AM - 
Diva_11 said...
Okay, as much as I am a fan of Sarah Jessica Parker... Why is she endorsing home hair color products? Do you really think for a split second that her OR Heather Locklear are actually doing "home dye jobs?" It just makes it that much more unbelievable that your hair is really going to turn out THAT great when you pluck a box off the discount rack...
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 9:10:00 AM - said...
Conventional wisdom says "celebrity" lasts for 15 minutes. I guess the philosophy at work here is to make hay while the sun shines. With the exception of super athletes like Tiger and Jordan, most of these celebs just want to be out there being noticed for somthing, anything. Really pathetic.
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 9:40:00 AM - said...
You are only looking at the celebs. who do us adds. what about all of the top ones that go out of country to do adds. like tom cruise.
what are they endorsing? it is all about the buck.
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 11:08:00 AM - said...
What a cynical article for a motivational website! Is this an attempt at humor? What do you care? It's advertising for heaven's sake. Change the channel. Turn the page. Grow up. There are a lot more important things to get PO'd about.
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 11:21:00 AM - said...
While I do agree with what you're saying, has anyone considered that maybe these people really use these products? I mean, just because some people have loads of money it doesn't mean they're too pretentious to use a disposable razor or eat at a fast food restaurant. I was raised in very much a middle class family, so to me the idea of outrageously expensive things is ridiculous to me.. I would just buy more of the cheap stuff I already use!
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 1:51:00 PM - said...
True that it seems they are selling themselves, but it does make for funny commercials. I live in Germany and there's an internet service that is showing commercials with Brad Pitt, and they are really funny! Though not as funny as seeing Paris hawking down a Big Carl's!!!!
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 2:49:00 PM - said...
Who care who gets who to endorse their product if you want it buy it if you don't leave it alone. If any of you guys had a product and an half the money you would do the same thing if it increased the bottom line. Most people that protest things of this nature are people who wished they wre popular enough to get the offer. We should have all protested Bush before he had a chance to destroy the country.
Comment: Wednesday, May 14, 2008 9:15:00 PM - said...
I agree that this is a pretty cynical article for a motivational website in an attempt to make those less fortunate feel better.
And no, I don't expect all the magazines I read to be telling the truth, but according to this month's issue of Glamour, Jessica Simpson and Kristen Bell, though they do not endorse it, swear by Bonne Bell lip products-- stuff I wore in elementary school. In the same issue, celebrity hairdressers and make-up artists have confessed to using drugstore brands such as Wet 'n Wild and Aveeno on big names like Alicia Keys, Halle Berry, Salam Hayek, and Mischa Barton. Just because you're rich and famous doesn't mean you never use something a little cheaper. Some people still stick to their roots.
Comment: Saturday, May 17, 2008 1:43:00 PM - said...
While I do agree with everything you've said about celebraties selling things they probably don't use, I think you forgot to look at some positive examples of 'selling': Valerie Bertonelli surfing after losing weight & Kirstie Alley after losing 75 pounds. Isn't that just like life? Some good, some bad....
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