Diet & Fitness

Mother's Day is a day to honor and celebrate moms. Moms are very special and they play a critical role in their children's lives. When you think about it, for most people, the first relationship they develop is the one with their mom. It's also the longest lasting relationship!

To help make your Mother's Day a good one, here are 4 simple tips for how to improve or strengthen the relationship with your mom.

1. Focus on Positive.
In any relationship there are going to be struggles and challenges. Instead of focusing on what goes wrong or your struggles, shift your attention and begin to amplify or recognize what's right (positive/good) about you and your mother. Make a list of what you love about your mom and tell her.

2. Respect and Validate Differences.
Each of you was born in a different time period, with different values and ways of living. You may not agree on everything, even the important things in life. You don't have to agree with each other -- just acknowledge and respect each other's thoughts and feelings. Some people have been angry or in a fight with their mom for years. These are wasted years. Pick up the phone and apologize or forgive her. Move on. Often times, the qualities that we dislike in our mothers, we find in ourselves as we grow older.

3. Boundaries.
Respect one another's privacy. Boundaries in what you say and tell your mother (and what she tells you) are OK. Do not look to your mother to be your best friend.

4. Time.
Often times, we don't spend enough time with our moms. What about those deep conversations that you used to have with your mother? Do you know where she would go in a crisis? Do you really know what is on her mind these days? What does she enjoy doing? Spend time strengthening your relationship and opening the lines of communication between you and your mother. Be clear about what you mean. Say what you mean.

Don't expect your mother to read your mind! When we expect others to read our minds we always get disappointed. Like any relationship, this relationship also takes work. Change cannot occur in one day or week -- but over time!

Dr. Terri Orbuch, The Love Doctor, is a psychologist, Oakland University professor, and research professor at The University of Michigan, Institute for Social Research. Dr. Orbuch's Love Doctor Relationship Segments are aired weekly on Fox TV-Detroit and radio stations across the U.S. and Canada. You can find out more about The Love Doctor® at www.drterrithelovedoctor.com.

Labels: holidays, relationships, tips