By Alex Lieber
eDiets Director of Content
It was just about a year ago today I was told that I might die at any moment.
A CAT scan of my chest showed something in my right lung -- a blood clot. In medical parlance, that's called a pulmonary embolism. In real life, that can mean an express ticket to the netherworld.
Obviously, it didn't kill me. And I won't keep you in suspense: it wasn't an embolism. I think, in fact, it was a gob of mustard, dropped from the doctor's sandwich onto the X-ray film as he was examining my innards. That's my theory to explain my two days of medically sanctioned torture.
How did this happen? I went to the hospital to get a pain in my chest checked out -- on the OTHER SIDE of my chest. I had banged it, and it was a little painful to breathe. I knew what it was. I figured they'd give me something to reduce the swelling and I'd be on my way.
To spell it out, I had a pain on the LEFT side I wanted checked out. The doctor said I had an embolism on the RIGHT side. (Guess which hand was holding the sandwich?)
He flew back to me, still chewing his sandwich, and blurted that I had to be admitted RIGHT NOW! Bits of turkey flew from his mouth to punctuate his seriousness.
Then the fun began.
He told a nurse to inject a blood thinner directly into my stomach. The nurse had dragon tattoos on her arm. I remember them vividly, because I clutched those tattoos as I went through the 10 most physically painful minutes of my life.
I was told I didn't have to worry about getting another shot for at least 24 hours.
All night long, all I could think about was that next shot. Not that I was allowed to sleep. Doctors mysteriously came and went during the night, asking strange questions. One remarked that I had rather large breasts for a man. Was I taking hormones, he asked.
I didn't realize it at the time, but each of these questions had a direct consequence for me. My breast-admiring doctor had ordered a test meant for women -- to see if I had female breast tissue. The nurses were giggling over that one while they did the test.
Test after test came back negative. The following day, one of the few sane doctors I talked to said he frankly didn't know why I was even in the hospital. I explained my mustard gob theory. I wish I could tell you he dismissed it on the spot -- but he just smiled as if to say he's heard stranger things happen.
Then Nurse Dragon Tattoo came in with my shot.
I was now in full revolt. Forget the shot. In fact, I was checking myself out. I gave them a deadline to remove the IV line from my arm or I'd do it myself right at the nurses' station. They complied, and I left the hospital with my story to tell about a phantom blood clot and a real mustard gob.
As I ponder the anniversary of this event, how many people out there have similar stories to tell?
Comment: Friday, April 25, 2008 1:24:00 AM - 
fatima said...
Oh My God! You should Sue the stupid doctor incharge of all this!
Its horrible that you had to go through this!
Comment: Friday, April 25, 2008 5:53:00 AM - 
said...
If this is true, you are fixed for life. What happened afterwards? Did you get another CAT Scan and sued the doctor/hospital?
Comment: Friday, April 25, 2008 8:45:00 AM - Juliet said...
Years ago, a friend told me a story about a time when she received a call from a radiologist who asked to speak to Ryan Thomson. Being Ryan's mother, she said, "can I help you?" The radiologist said, I need to speak to Mr. Thomson directly. She said you're his Radiologist? He said :"yes." She said "you have his xrays in your hands right this minute?" He said "yes." "You are looking at a picture of Ryan's lungs right now?" she said. "Yes'" he replied.
"And you can't tell that Ryan is a 9 month old baby? radiologist was thoroughly and properly embarrased, said his piece and abruptly hung up.
Comment: Friday, April 25, 2008 3:08:00 PM - said...
As a medical student, I am first of all, disturbed by how mistakes like this can happen. But also as a medical student, I feel obligated to try to explain why these events occurred to you.
1) Pulmonary embolism (PE) is a very scary diagnosis and if there is any suspicion, further work up and quick action is required to prevent a possibly detrimental outcome.
2) Though your chest pain was on the left (which is an equally worrisome location for chest pain due to heart conditions), chest pain from PE can occur anywhere regardless of the location of the clot.
3) The doctors asking you about your breasts, though without tact, had a purpose. Estrogen, which could cause men to have gynecomastia, i.e. male breasts, is a risk factor for developing clots such as PE. That's why you hear that women on birth control should not smoke, because these are two very important risk factors for clot formation increasing risk for PE and stroke.
4) Keeping in mind that I am only a medical student, I am not readily aware of the treatment you received requiring painful shots to your stomach. If it were for dissolution of the clot, quick administration of blood thinners is required. It is usually given by IV however.
Again, I am disturbed that mistakes such as mustard on your film can be mistook for a pulmonary embolism. But if it truly were a PE, most of the events that occurred were for some important reason. It was also disturbing to me, however, that the medical people involved in your case were not at least a little more tactful and respectful in their actions. I can promise you that I will not behave that indifferently to my patients.
Comment: Saturday, April 26, 2008 1:38:00 PM - said...
Stop whining, you little girl! You gotta learn to take it like a man!! Just thank God you get the best medical care in the world!
Comment: Monday, May 05, 2008 11:39:00 PM - said...
I few years ago my husband had an MRI on his leg because of swelling in his ankle. That night we got a call from the doctor at home for him to go to the emergency room because he got the report which said DVT (Deep Vein thrombosis- i.e., blood clot in leg). We sat in a crowded emergency room most of the night to get blood thinner. He went several days back to the hospital for blood thinner. When the dr. looked at the scan a few days later, he didn't see anything. The radiologist left off one word from the report. It should have said "No DVT."
Comment: Friday, May 09, 2008 11:26:00 AM - said...
When I was a teenager I severely hurt my ankle which swelled to double its size and went black/blue with bruising. I was taken to hospital and X rayed but after reviewing it the doctor said it was a heavy sprain and that I had to be walking with full weight on it within 24 hours. Despite best efforts there was a sharp shooting pain when I tried to walk on it and it wasn't possible. the hosital would not provide crutches due to to the directive that I had to begin walking unassisted with full weight so I borrowed some from a friend. A week later I get an urgent call from the hospital saying that the X ray was sent away for a second opinion and that they had found I had a major break and would need to come in for surgery and to have a pin inserted in the bone. This too ended up being wrong - the break was a relatively minor greenstick fracture and did not require pinning but just resulted in a cast being applied for 4 weeks, and me finally getting the OK to use crutches... didn't give me much faith though..!
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