10 Things Men Wish Women Knew
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By Shawn Mckee
eDiets Staff Writer
Spring is here -- and that means love is in the air! Flowers bloom, birds chirp and people wake from their winter slumbers, looking for love. Yes, romance blooms as the warm, spring air coaxes us out of our caves and into the sunny world around us.
For as long as people have been pairing up, they've had problems with communication. So to help alleviate some of the problems that arise when the sexes try to coincide in courtship, I've put together a list of things women should know about men. As a man, these are the things I wish every woman knew about me -- and my brethren -- to make life simpler for everyone.
We lie. But it's not as bad as it sounds. Generally, we do it to make you feel good or avoid trouble. Were you really looking for the truth when you asked: "Does this make my butt look big?" We think your butt looks great. Everything you try on looks "great." Let's leave it at that.
We're insecure -- just like you. This seems obvious, but since men tend not to open up about their feelings, it may be hard to actually recognize. We want to feel wanted and needed. Throw us an occasional compliment, ask us to help you do something manly or laugh at our dumb jokes. Pointing out our imperfections is painful for us, too, so take it easy when addressing our growing beer belly, receding hairline or bedroom prowess.
Your body is sexy. Fitness is sexy. You don't have to be built like a ballerina to turn us on, but the fact that you take care of yourself is important. Plus, we love seeing you in your sexy little workout clothes and we're hoping that when you get home from the gym you'll suggest we "hit the showers" together.
The eyes have it. We think you're sexy, remember? Sometimes our eyes wander, but that doesn't mean we're planning on straying. It's unnatural for a man to ignore a beautiful woman -- it's science. So, if you catch your man ogling another beauty, don't point out all her imperfections and call her a "skank." Jealousy is not pretty.
Acceptable actions for you to take: Punch him in the arm, make a smartass comment about her outfit, say "You wish," start ogling a handsome man in the area, suggest a threesome (then add "you wish") or anything else that's shows you're confident and can laugh off a faux pas as trivial as our naturally wandering eyes.
I'm not sure why this is, but if you want something, you may just have to ask directly. Is it as fun as dropping hints about what you want for your anniversary and being surprised when you don't get it? Maybe not, but it will eliminate a great deal of miscommunication.
Cookies, cakes and the kitchen. When you cook for us, it's the sexiest thing ever. We love food and we love women, so a woman who can feed us pretty much covers all the bases. Watching you cook is better foreplay than pretty much anything, unless you're cooking wearing only an apron, then it is the best foreplay -- ever.
You don't really want to know what we're thinking. Men's minds, like their eyes, tend to wander. You ask, "What are you thinking?" And you get a blank stare. It's not because we're not thinking anything, but because we know you don't care about the finer points of a 3-4 defense, who would win in a fight between a ninja and a pirate (ninja, in case you're wondering), or how many hot dogs we think we could eat in 20 minutes. So, when we reply, "How beautiful you are…" Just accept it.
Directions? We don't need no stinkin' directions! We don't ask for directions because we like to solve problems, it makes us feel accomplished. Half the fun of going somewhere is the trip, so getting lost and finding our way back is a big part of the fun of going to your coworker's birthday party. We're explorers by nature; let us have our great expedition -- even if it makes us late. You can blame us for being late -- we don't mind.
Stop asking, "Where is this going?" We don't know. We know where we hope this will go, but we're not going to stop and ask for directions. You have a right to ask this at some point as the relationship develops, but we're trying to enjoy the trip, not rush to the destination. Asking will just make us feel pressured, so just skip this question all together and enjoy the ride.
We really just want to make you happy, that's all. More often than not, we'll do the right thing, but take it easy on us when we act like the cavemen we are, at least we're trying.
How else can we open the dialog between the sexes? What should men know about women? Was this article helpful? Was it a waste of time? Let us know!
Labels: relationships, tips
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:25:00 AM - 
said...
Hmmm it is so helpful I'll try it..
I like it thank u for shering me this
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 7:32:00 AM - said...
Do all men want the woman to initiate sex all the time?
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 7:39:00 AM - 
Rae said...
Is it true that men dont initiate sex? Is it always up to the woman?
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 8:49:00 AM - said...
Cute comments Shawn Mckee! I have a guy in my life that I have been seeing for about three months, and it's been wonderful. He is 47 and I am 52. Neither of us have been in a relationship for over 12 years! (Health issues for one, and raising children for the other). So I welcomed the info you provided. I will not ask, "where is this going." as much as I'd like to know, I'm just enjoying the time together and having fun. Thanks again Shawn!
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 9:18:00 AM - said...
This was a great article Shawn! It makes a lot of sense and made me laugh in the process. Thanks!
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 9:45:00 AM - cyrstal said...
It was a good read and some valid points were made however...I try to jump start sex and it's not as easy as you make it sound. I have even baked cookies in nothing but hooker heels and he eats them not me. So what's up with that?
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 10:03:00 AM - said...
I had a great relationship for many years i knew all that u pointed out, but lets face it men are lazy and we will always have to do most of the work. and if it takes too much to sustain a relationship then just walk away from it.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 10:09:00 AM - said...
I'm always ready and willing to serve. Get tired of no's. It gets to the point, why ask ? When ever she starts something, I'll join in, in the mean time, just be happy.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 10:10:00 AM - said...
I been trying games and bed, new little oufits in different colors, to get my husbands attention, I try to start sex he wont let me touch him, I don.t know what to do this is been going on for a while now , any ideas....?
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 10:12:00 AM - said...
I got a good laugh out it. I am 51. and married , so true about men. thanks for the the truth about men.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 10:50:00 AM - said...
Thank you Shawn,
Your 10 Things Men Wish We Knew was enlightening.
So Here is 10 Things We Wish You Men Knew.
1. Women love a Man who knows what he wants and why he wants it.
2. Trying to be the perfect Woman never works if a Man is not ready to accept it.
3. Men who lie all the time is like poison to a Woman's Soul. Stay Away Women From These Type of Men.
4. Sexy and Confident Women especially after the age of 40. Do not need you we have to want you, so don't get it twisted
5. Women do not mind giving you their all Cooking, Sex, Lingerie, Lap Dancing and the whole nine but your butt needs to learn how to deserve as well as give in order to get it!
6. Professional Women have no time for you so if you are always looking for that 6-figure mate; don't complain when Sex that week does not fit her agenda.
7. Realize that when you date Single Mothers you need to offer to pay at least if not all of the babysitting fee. No Woman truly wants nor desires Mr. Cheapo.
8. If we are having intimate relations with you. A dress, dinner, nail/hair appointment, a bill paid for by you is warranted.
How much did that Senator's Lover Get ummmm $4,500 a night that we know about and you have been getting Sex free for how long?
9. Most of us Women are happier without you so when you dump or leave us for that Secretary who in the end makes you old and miserable. We are behind your back laughing our butts off with our girlfriends.
10. Women we want to be in Love most of the time and both Men and Women we will always desire each other it is part of God Plan. But again Men don't get it twisted; Step Correct or Don't Step up to us at all.
Becauce today's Women can take you or leave you remember we are the one's with the Ace in the Hole and if you truly want it be a Man and do what't right to get it!
It is a proven fact that Men live longer with a Woman in their life and let's face it most of you go limp after 55. Create memories for that Special Woman now then she will truly love you when you say that the viagra is not working... LOL
VTC
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 10:56:00 AM - said...
So, these points are all valid and hilarious, but I'd love to write a rebuttal in response to this, y'know, since it's all about compromise and communication.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 11:07:00 AM - said...
Maybe you should just ask your guy what is going on. Open communication is usually better than quietly obsessing over potential problems. And guys, word of advice, we always know when you're not being truthful. None of that "you're beautiful" distraction bullshit. It doensn't work if the woman has more than two brain cells.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 11:13:00 AM - said...
And yes, we women really do want to know if our asses look fat in our outfits so we can change clothes. It isn't about our egos, it is about making you look good in public.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 12:02:00 PM - Marsha_N_NC said...
As a woman who's been married for....ever, it's all true and it IS funny how different we are! Glad you put it all in plain terms Shawn. If you don't have Ms. Right, you soon will. Now if y'all could just figure US out...
Thanks, Shawn!
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 2:17:00 PM - said...
I've been married twenty one years and he still can't figure me out. That's the way to year 22.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:27:00 PM - 
lolishgirl186 said...
hahahaha, i love thissss.
i'm only 14 so i'll use MOST of these. i think their really interesting. i'm in a serious fun relashionship believe it or not, so i love this...
thanks so much for the tips !
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 3:53:00 PM - said...
We lie.
Women appreciate honesty and if she’s in relationship with you I would think that the least you can do is spare her the humiliation and tell her that her ass is about to bust out her jeans. Being the word smith you are, I’m sure you can find a way to package a negative or possibly hurtful comment in a pretty and inspirational manner.
We're insecure -- just like you.
See, this is where we don’t lie. If you have a huge pimple on your face, then we’ll tell you to pop it and prevent the temptation of extracting that crater that’s been marinating on your face for the past week. We like to spare you and ourselves the humiliation of pimples, beer bellies, and if we’re not satisfied, the lack of sexual prowess.
Your body is sexy.
Then you should also love waiting for us when it takes 1-2 hours to do our hair, make-up, and iron our clothes so we can look beautiful for you when we go to our favorite Mexican joint.
The eyes have it.
Seriously – have some respect for the woman you’re with and refrain from eye f***ing every pair boobs that passes you by. It’s also “science” for women to be naturally attracted to men with the fattest wallets. After all, we are just naturally looking for the best man to provide for our offspring, right? Acceptable actions for men to take when my eyes are fixated on BIG Money’s wallet: “Oh, don’t worry honey, I’m getting a second job tonight and looking for a much higher paying first job already. I’ll have you in that Bentley in no time!” Side note - we also get distracted by shiny and loud things – money clips and a Porsche 911 GT2 in our driveways.
We're always ready for sex -- always.
So are we… if we’re sexually compatible. Just stand really close behind us and tell us how ready you are. ;)
Subtly is lost on us.
Hmm… I don’t get this one. She’s got an itch on her neck? No offense, but men can be as dumb as rocks sometimes. Women need to be very direct and let the man know exactly what she wants and expects. Then maybe he’ll have a clue about her needs.
Cookies, cakes and the kitchen.
I agree. Sign me up for the cookie dough lickathon! I’ll be waiting in my pretty little apron you love so much. ;p
You don't really want to know what we're thinking.
I find this act pretty annoying myself, so I can only agree with you. However, I must admit that the only reason I ask this question is because the guy is usually asking me the same thing about a thousand times. So sometime I figure that there must be something interesting going on in your head if you want to get into mine so much. But after reading this, I guess you guys are just looking for something other than ninjas and pirates to think about.
Directions? We don't need no stinkin' directions!
I have the sense of direction of a finely trained ninja assassin. Driving with me in the car is like having your very own hot-ass GPS system. Plus I run on Cuban time, so no worries on being late.
Stop asking, "Where is this going?"
Look, women like to know what men want. We need to hear from you that there is some rhyme or reason to what’s going on. I sense that when men feel that things are taking off and they’re about knee-deep in the relationship, they freak out and run back towards the shore at full speed. That kills a lot of the things you guys worked on to get in knee-deep to begin with. We don’t like to aimlessly wander about, “enjoying” the ride. How do you expect us to enjoy the ride when we don’t know where the hell this ride is heading and if you’re tall enough to get on? We need to know that there’s going to be a clear road ahead and this ride won’t careen out of control because you forgot to clear out some debris on the path. Get serious, guy, and stop making excuses for your inability to commit.
xo
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 5:57:00 PM - said...
It's simply not true that men are always ready for sex; low libido in men is one of America's "dirty little secrets." Word is slowly but surely getting out that this is a serious problem; see, for example, Michele Davis' "The Sex-Starved Wife." In the meantime, women whose husbands or boyfriends have little to no desire in sex are left feeling dismal about themselves when the false message that men will leap at anything in a skirt continues to be spread.
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 6:15:00 PM - said...
Men should know-
"Girls lie too. Dont think you're the only ones who bend it, break it, stretch it some."
"Thank you" goes a LONG LONG way. If you find yourself with an insecure female, little thank you's and you're beautifuls will make her feel special and you wont have to hear her say all those things that an insecure girl would say. (But it takes a little time for her to change)
Your body is sexy. Put some effort into your appearance once in a while.. you know.. bathe, shave, get a hair cut. And it wouldn't be hard for you to ask the chick who works in the clothing department to put together an outfit for you that's casual and sexy.
We dont care if you look. Just DONT do it when we're sitting right next to you. What am I, chop liver? And you cant figure out why you're not getting laid. I feel resentfull when you "look" when I'm with you and I become repulsed by your touch.
I have three kids, each of them wants my undivided attention. When you come home, You also want my undivided attention. You are way more demanding then the kids are. I would like a teammate to help relieve my daily stress but you just add to it by demanding attention and then sinking into the TV when I dont give it to you.
A little help please?
Comment: Tuesday, March 25, 2008 6:35:00 PM - said...
Ah Shawn, I feel bad for any girls that have to go out with you. You really seem like a chauvinist. I'll not let your little wise-ass comments make me second guess the motives of MY boyfriend.
Girls, get a guy who has a little more patience and love than this article claims men possess.
Comment: Wednesday, March 26, 2008 10:16:00 AM - said...
This is good since most women think men are so complicated and they are quite simple. feed them, have sex with them, love is just a vocabulary word to them so don't apply our definition to their statement, don't make them look foolish in public and thank them for anything they might throw your way and wow it's love to them, Most women are very self sufficient and can be a good partner if the man just treats her like a lady and is willing to listen if she might want to talk--that means just talk do not ask them any questions men get confused easily :) Men can have a wonderful like with women if they just show they care :) thanks again I am 55 and would like to find a special man who wants to be with me not needed by me.
Comment: Wednesday, March 26, 2008 10:36:00 AM - said...
The comprehensive overtone is that men are little boys and we have to accept them for not having any creativity or thought process. That has not been my experience with all men - just some men. The ones that think I have to just accept all of their "blank stares" are the ones who think that a box of chocolates covers them on Valentines Day. The ones that engage themselves in activities and conversation with me and plan the time together instead of expecting me to sit in idle while he ponders the "west coast" defense is the neanderthal I had dated in college. Thank God I learned early enough to know that was not what I wanted.
And girlfriends - don't stop asking them questions - it is the only way to know that some of them are conscious. If they actually talk to you - you might be on your way to a reasonable winner. If he grunts, that shows he is a alive but not thriving. If he stares at the TV or the girl walking by. Quietly move away and see how long it takes him to notice you are gone. Then take that time and subtract it from 150. That will give you his I.Q. (if you have to convert from a minute to 60 seconds) Run away.
There are many men out there - there is only one you! Don't settle for Mr. You-will-do. Wait for Mr. You-are-great.
Comment: Wednesday, March 26, 2008 12:15:00 PM - said...
This article was just GREAT!!!
women's mind is always working and trying to figure out men, that we do not realize how simple men are. I just think men are like dogs, simple, lovable and easy to please; women are like cats, complicated, competitive, and trying to read men's minds, whowever, we are Wonderful and Beautiful!!!
Fresita.
Comment: Wednesday, March 26, 2008 9:05:00 PM - said...
That was a great article. When I have had a relationship going for a while (6 months to a year) I like to write a "relationship contract". The contract is drafted by both people and consists of positive things that both partners wish to continue and strategies to correct the conflicts that occur from time to time.
The honesty in this article is appreciated and we women can at least try to communicate more clearly. All men want to be gentlemen. We just have to show them how.
Comment: Thursday, March 27, 2008 4:02:00 PM - said...
Great advice Shawn! I will be sure to post this on the frigde door for easy reference (for her!).
Comment: Wednesday, April 09, 2008 10:14:00 AM - Leandra said...
Sitting in SOuth Africa, it is so refreshing to read something like this! The words are honest and I think there were a few ladies smiling at some of the comments - because we know it's true!
Job well done!
Thank you Shawn
Comment: Wednesday, April 09, 2008 7:55:00 PM - said...
After reading this I can only wonder, why would any woman even want to BE with a man, or vice-versa? Seems like you're always trying to figure something out or get something over on the other. How to get what you want, manipulate... never enough... YUCK!
I'm a happy contented lesbian, in a long term committed relationship and couldn't be happier! And if you need to breed, seed is available in bottles now, so no excuses there.
Good luck figuring each other out, but don't expect much.
Comment: Thursday, April 10, 2008 8:08:00 AM - Smokey22 said...
Thanks for sharing. My favorite quote is "LIFE IS BUT A JOURNEY,
ENJOY THE RIDE".......Now I understand why. And when things don't go our way; just think of it as an
adventure..... what is life without that?
Not so much the destination but the journey itself....
To all men and women who are open and honest enough to show and talk about their feelings so we have a better understanding of one another. And in the end; we all benifit from it.
Comment: Sunday, April 20, 2008 3:12:00 PM - whatwomenwant: said...
We want better sex.
That said, sex does create babies;take responsiblity for birth
control.
Not to be taken for granted.
No lies.
No games.
That you realize that just having a job does not qualify you to be lazy.
We have jobs too.
Clean up after yourself.
That you clean your own toilet or hire someone too.
That getting married means does not mean I will be a mommy for you; it does not allow you to behave differently then before the marriage.
Don't think that we should be eternally grateful because you married us; non-sexist.
For each negative comment 10 positive. Better yet, no negative.
Read more so you will be a better conversationalist.
We need down time too.
Don't have double standards.
Calculate your money so you will have some $ at the end of the month.
Brush your teeth more often.
Shave.
By the time your 55 maybe even one beer will affect your libido.
I really think many women are dissatisfied sexually; many are just intelligent enough not to prowl around; do want a committed relationship so we put up with it;
if he is not willing to change; but some form of depression can be the result.
Plan trips.
Look at map if you don't know where you are going.
Pack your won clothes.
Buy your own clothes.
You enjoy cooking and cleaning up.
Clean up after yourself.
Equal time cleaning,shopping etc.
If you want a housekeeper hire one.
Comment: Tuesday, April 22, 2008 10:33:00 AM - said...
Shawn McKee can only speak for himself obviously, not for all men as this article implies.
Comment: Monday, May 05, 2008 12:26:00 PM - said...
It was helpful; I'm 61 years old but still like to know what men wish for from their woman.
Comment: Thursday, May 08, 2008 6:47:00 AM - said...
One important thing to remember is it's never 50-50 in a relationship. I'm so happy that my guy is mature, most guys don't seem very mature until they are around 30 or35, he's now 52. But every now and then that little boy show's up!!lol! Which makes me laugh. We are very complex creatures and we just need to be honest with each other.
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